So, you want to be a l33t hax0r eh? You think you got what it takes to crack those mad gibsons eh? Well... then YOU ARE WRONG!! YOU ARE WEAK AND JUST A POSUR!!! FEAR MY WET COUGH!! AHHHH THE END IS NEAR!!

Okay, so let's start with the basics. and remember kiddies... whenever you see one of THESE:
! That means that there is an IMPORTANT tip
you MUST FOLLOW TO BE l33t!!! So watch for them.
Only a l33t hax0r would know this tho...

The first thing you must know and understand with hax0ring, is that you cannont be l33t without internet access. Every l33t hax0r knows that the best way to connect up to that vast internet, is thro America Online (a.k.a AOL for you super-l33t).
Yes, that's right boys and girls, AOL. Not only to you have a superfast T3 connection (T3 is superfast for you beginners), but you also have GREAT customer service and they love it when you hax0r them and tell them how great they are. It costs $19.95 a month, but real hax0rs never pay it... just tell them you are a hax0r and they will ph33r j00 and give it to you free. I own them. They ph33r m3.
! WITHOUT AOL, J00 CANNOT HAX0R ANYTHING!!
GET AOL OR J00 CANNOT BE l33t!!!

That was an important tip there kiddies... maybe you should jot that down, but hey, if you don't that just means j00 are REALLY smart and a super genius, you will indeed be a l33t hax0r yet.

You then must watch the movie "Hackers" at least 30 or 40 times (I've seen it about 665 times... I'm watching it as we speak). TAKE LOTS OF NOTES!!! This is very important... Only the rare super-l33t hax0rz don't have to take notes, and that's because they are rare, YOU on the other hand should take notes. Observe how they sk-8 around on them l33t rollerbladez, and do those phat trix0rz. Notice how they use the Macintosh to hax0r (very smart... more on that later). Also note the graphics (stunning) if you don't have those on your screen when you are hax0ring, something is very wrong, like you are stupid. Also, notice the use of the key phrase:
"HACK THE PLANET"

Please note, that ONLY the super-l33t are allowed to use this phrase. Saying it automatically makes people ask you questions like, "How do I hack?" "Can you get me some credit card numbers?" "Can I worship you?" and for men all the fine ladies will flock to you and beg for sex (which you then must brag about). Only the super-l33t know how to handle this fame, SO BEWARE. There is a dark side to hax0ring, and you must overcome it.

You must periodically subtitute 'PH' for 'F' and visa versa. Example, I would never say the word 'phone' but instead (because I am l33t and wanted in 68 U.S.A. states, including Moscow and downtown Los Angeles) I would say 'fone'
See how much l33t3r that makes me? Or better yet... I'd never say 'files' but rather, 'PHilez' (note the use of the 'z' in place of the 's' this is a chix0r magnet for sure). So keep that in mind as you go on. And remember... don't forget to brag (more on that in upcoming lessons)

Okie-dokie all you wanna-be l33t |<-R4d hax0rz you... you passed the first lesson... now it's time for the next lesson, in a week's time...