Brought to you by Digital Fox (at great risk to myself and the people who sell masks)

Wowie Zowie my hax0r friends... You have made it to lesson 3. This is possibly the most important lesson next to Lesson one and Lesson two, you haven't made it to four yet... so I can't tell you that four is more important... but hey, it's all about the fish.
[b]! YOU MUST KNOW THESE ACCRONYMS
OTHERWISE I WILL LAUGH AT YOU
and you can never be l33t...[/b]

Okay... what's to explain here? Every l33t hax0r knows the following, and you must too.
Once you have learned these... don't forget to show off your knowledge to make the non-hax0rs feel weak. They will ph33r you. Tell them that you own them and that you will crash their computers and steal their credit cards from their wallets... you can do that you know... of course you did, j00 are l33t.

Nukez :: This is something the government has, it is rare, but some very VERY EXTREMELY l33t hax0rz (namely ME) have hax0red the government's intense defenses and stolen nukez, we then use them via a phone line to wrex0r j00r computer.... ph33r m3, I 0wn j00 punx0r.

UNIX :: Your weak minds cann0t handle the concept of UNIX, so don't ask... What I CAN tell you is that UNIX is generally used by people older than 30, with long pony tails to compensate for their balding and they are frequently arrested by the fashion police for their incessent use of out dated 60z clothing.... beware.

Linux :: The modern day version of UNIX, however, Linux users have been known to often froth at the mouth and swear that Macintosh is NOT the world's greatest O/S.... They are stupid... see below.

IPX/SPX :: Once upon a time, a small company named Novell was founded by a guy who has no nuts. He then looked at the world and said, "I'm common-sense challenged, therefore I must make IPX/SPX, a protocol that noone has ever heard of, and that there is NO practical use for and make the world use it for computers to communicate across a network and throw everyone into mass confusion, only THEN will I be super l33t like Digital Fox." Please note, he has no nuts, he can never be l33t.

TCP/IP :: This stands for "Transmission Control Protocol / Internet Protocol" Don't try to understand it... just know that you must use it to hax0r people... you can download it... it's a pretty big file, but a TRUE Had0r has it, just ask me for it sometime.

OOB :: This stands for "Out Of Band" data. This is used to crash computers. You must send people cheep recordings of sucky bands like, Green Day, Bush and Yani. Thier computer phreaks out so bad it crashes.

Macintosh :: The world's greatest O/S, j00 must have it to hax0r.

O/S :: This means "Operating System" like Macintosh. (Windows is NOT an Operating System... it's just sucky)

AOL :: The worlds fastest, most reliable connecting ISP. Also owned by Microsoft... the best maker of software out there (rumor is you can buy souls from them too... but I just hax0r them)

ISP :: This means "Internet Service Provider" IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU HAVE ONE MORON!! sheesh.

Phreax0ring :: Phreaking is the art of scaring people with your computer. (i.e. tellling them you are reading their hard drive right now, like I am doing to you). It is a form of hax0ring... only the super l33t can phreax0r.

FTP :: This is "File Transfer Protocol" and you must have it to hax0r, otherwise how will you download your l33t viruses you wrote onto other people's computers? Most stores sell it, I reccomend buying it at Radio Shack, they have everything.

RAP :: The world's worse music... you cannot be l33t if you listen to rap, you can only be semi-l33t.

Phat :: A term l33t hax0rz use to describe their most righteous hacks.

Lamer :: People who don't know how to hax0r. People who can hax0r but never tell anyone about it. People who don't use AOL.

l33t :: Stands for "leet" short for "elite" All hax0rs know this and must use it when describing themselves to others. (i.e. I AM l33t PH33R MY SKI11Z)

K-Rad :: This is a super l33t hax0r. This can also be used as a descriptive word, (i.e. That phat syte was K-RAD).

Okay my little protoges! That's all your brain can handle for now (that's a clinically proven fact.. don't question me). You must now go forth (after you read Lesson Four) and brag to all your friends that you are "l33t" and that they are not. Then you must deny all knowledge of this syte, as you could land in jail just for saying that you read my work. I'm wanted you know in 98 U.S.A. states, including Paris and Qubec... it's true... I swear.

Coming up soon:

..:: LESSON 4 ::..